Karen Susman Article - How To Get People To Tell You More

How To Get People To Tell You More

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If you know how to ask open-ended questions, you can get a statue to open up to you. Open-ended questions are ones that can't be answered by a simple "Yes" or "No." For instance, if you ask, "Do you live in Kalamazoo?" that is a closed question. The answer is either "Yes" or "No." If you ask, "What do you like about living in Kalamazoo?" that's open-ended.

You can also use phrases that urge your conversation partner to expound. Your body language can support your partner's expansion of his topic, too. Lean in. Make excellent eye contact. Nod. Animate your face to match his story. For instance, if he's telling you his dog just died, don't smile.

Here are a few probes, clarifiers and encouragers to try today.

"How do you mean that?"
"Tell me more."
"Continue."
"I'd like to hear more about that?"
"Can you explain?"
"That's interesting."
"How did you make that happen?"
"Wait. Back up. I'm not sure I understand."
"Go on."
"Oh."
"Give me an example."
"What do you mean?"
"Hmm."

If you ask a closed question, follow up with an open-ended question or encourager. For example, if you ask your conversation partner, "Do you like working for ABC Company?" The answer will be "Yes" or "No." Then ask "What do you like about working for ABC Company?" after she responds in the affirmative. If the first answer is "No," ask, "What would you change?"

If you want your conversation partner to tell you more, don't anticipate his/her responses. Don't plan your rebuttal. Show interest in what he or she has to say. We all love to be listened to. Be patient. You'll have your turn.

Karen Susman, Speaker/Author/Coach, works with organizations and individuals that want to maximize their performance and quality of life. Check out her free tips and articles at www.karensusman.com. Karen can be reached at 1-888-678-8818 or karen@karensusman.com.